Standoff between Regret and Failure

Following your passion is not easy. You have to make sacrifices and take a leap of faith into the darkness. There are moments when I have a miniature firework show in my head, arguing with myself as to whether I made the right decision giving up a stable income or not. Then there are days when I jump from one cloud to the other like a ballerina. I believe – well, I hope – that this is a normal reaction. After years of routine and stability, I have the exact opposite happening in my life right now. This fear I have of the unknown will, without a doubt, come tap me on my shoulder and mumble something about how crazy I am for doing this, but every time I finish writing a piece, I know I’m where I should be. After each article I write, or poem that I create, I am filled with accomplishment and experience a euphoric high.

Some people that have met me before at social gatherings would wonder how I could be a writer because I’m more of an introvert and don’t say much. I prefer to keep it short and sweet, while listening to everyone else telling their stories. My words usually play hide and seek when the spotlight focuses on me. It’s like I don’t know what to say until I put in on paper because I don’t know what I think until I read what I wrote. Confusing, isn’t it? Now you can only imagine what goes on in my head. But making this decision, following my passion, was easy. It was the taking-action part that was a bit trickier.

habits of successful people_ilka steyn

During the process of making the decision of whether I should do this or not, I allowed the “what-if” questions to play tug of war in my head. Doing this is how your doubt will feed your fear and turn it into a monster, which will constantly look over your shoulder. You and I can’t allow our fear to grow because then the obstacles will appear bigger than they are. I have made the decision that I will work hard towards not allowing negative people and bad experiences to get me down. I love writing, but if I fail, I will cross that bridge when I get there and figure it out then. I am more afraid of regret than I am of failure. Suzy Kassem reminded me that: “doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”, and it motivated me to take the leap. What is five or ten years of sacrifice and hard work, and then being happy for the rest of your life, in comparison to taking the easy route and being unhappy with your decision every day?


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