We’ve all been there: you’re going about your day, doing things, having discussions, only to realise you’re talking to your dog or talking about them. Some might feel they’re going crazy, but I don’t think it’s something to feel embarrassed about.

 

So I’ve been thinking: what does every dog mom (or dad) say regularly? And here it is.

 

“I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

Yes. When we leave for work and they look at us in silence, we feel guilty. And to comfort our fur babies, we remind them that we will be back. But to be honest, we’re really saying it to make ourselves feel better.

 

“DO YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AGAIN?”

I mean, you just went outside to pee-pee or poo. How is it possible that you want to go again? Oh, I see. You just want to go outside and smell something.

 

No matter how many times we ask this question, we just open the door – again. It is believed that somewhere out there, there is a boss dog deciding how many times they must let the humans open the door for no reason at all.

 

My dog? She lets me open the door just so she can look at the garden. That’s all. She doesn’t even go outside. She just sits. And looks at the garden.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU EATING?”

This question is usually followed with a, “No! Spit. Spit it out!” and then I have to claw whatever it is out of their mouth.

 

“GIVE… GIVE IT TO ME”

This statement is often heard in two scenarios. You either pair it with the question, “What are you eating?” or when they have stolen your socks.

 

I’ve leopard crawled in our garden with dog biscuits in hand to try and get back a shoe from our Labrador. It felt like Hacksaw Ridge, but it usually ended with me giving up, and lying face first in the grass with no biscuits left. And still no shoe.

 

“I’M SORRY”

One thing that fills my heart with guilt, is when they give me the stare of betrayal. This is usually after I gave them a bath or medicine. In these moments, I find myself apologising and explaining to them why I had to do it.

 

If that doesn’t work, I suffocate them with the grip of love until they wag their tail or give me a kiss. Then I know: all is forgiven.

 

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

They must know how much I love them. They’re my babies. I ask them every day if they know how much I love them and then I tell them because that’s what I have to do. I’m their mom.

 

So cheers to every dog mom (and dad) out there! May we have many more rhetorical questions, muddy footprints, and slobbery kisses.